Vectrex poems

[VectorX]

Dunno how this came about: this is a take-off on doing a bunch of 2600 poems that I did a while back. Don't know why I never thought about doing it for the beloved Vectrex until now! So I just suddenly bashed these out a while ago, although calling them "poems" might be a bit of a stretch, but here they are, so enjoy!



Bedlam

It’s “Tempest in reverse!”
Whoa, the levels are rotating
It’s making me sick
Any more of this
And my lunch will also do a “reverse”

Berzerk

Otto makes a silly sound this time around
Doesn’t seem real “evil” now, does he?

City Bomber

So you blow up
Abandoned cities
No one’s home
Not even any
Door-to-door salesmen
So what’s my motivation?

Continuum

According to this game
Hell means you either
Solve puzzles
Or have things attach onto you
Gee, tough choice

Fortress of Narzod

You can’t always shoot things
Because your shots bounce around
Like a ping-pong ball
Guess the fort
Had you sign a waiver

Gravitrex

So, your magic teleporter
Can suck up humans, entire fuel tanks
Into your ship
Without any ill effects
That’s really weird...

I, Cyborg

Who the hell would allow
Inmates to keep their weapons?
Bunch of morons...

Mine Storm

I’m clearing Mine Fields
I’m clearing many points
The game’s over!
Damn level 13 bug

Moon Lander

You constantly land on moons
Just to barely recap your fuel
Then do it all over again
Who the hell designed this ship?

Protector

So you defend helpless humans
In a very bad neighborhood
I’d say it’s time to move

Royal 21

So these cards
Magically float into stacks
I wish I could do that
With peoples' money
From their wallets (heh heh)

Scramble

So you shoot fuel tanks
Which refills your fuel (somehow)
Yeah, that makes sense

Space Frenzy

So here you’re mocked
By an alien
Wanting “amusement”
From a black and white tv
Yeah, he’s real “advanced”

Space Wars

I can blow up
An entire space ship
But not an oversized rock
What a pain in the asteroid

Spike

“Eek. Help. Spike!”
Oh no, Molly can’t read
A cue card worth a damn
But with those false eyelashes
And short skirt
I think we all know
How she got that job (cough)

Star Trek: The Motion Picture

I don’t remember
Klingon or Romulan battles
From the movie
Oh well, it’s a license

Sundance

Where’s the “dance”
When you just blow up stuff?

Thrust

It’s a good thing this game
Is about an evil empire,
Planets and pods
Or else it might sound
Kinda obscene

V-Frogger

So you control a frog
In a bad neighborhood
Time to move
Or become frog’s legs

Vaboom!

A madman drops bombs
I’m supposed to catch them
Or else I’ll die
Who’s idea was this, again?

Vectrace

You crack up your car
And you get another one
And another one, and another one
The insurance company
Must be burning money

Zantis

I don’t know what a “Zantis” is
But I don’t need an excuse
To shoot spiders

[fury]

Darryl, I think there's still time to erase this post before everyone sees it


Nah, I'm just kiddin you. Do Web Wars.

[VectorX]

I fly through these gigantic webs
Collecting all these creatures
Put them in a Trophy Room
What a disgusting hobby

[gamezone]

I give it the gamezone seal of approval!! Two fingers up and a raspberry

Nice Job!!

[sj]

VectorX.
I'm sure
You backside's sore
Sitting down
Writing those
What a chore
You need
To get out more.

[gamezone]

::)Funny!! LOL!!

[VectorX]

That's great!!

Thanks gz

More:

Clean Sweep

I suck, I suck, I suck,
I suck, I suck, I suck.
Because I'm a vacuum!
What were YOU thinking? (Pervert)

Cosmic Chasm

It's just me and my bomb
Which I innocently plant
And as I make my way out of here
They will regret the day
Their security didn't frisk me

Vec Sports Boxing

Stick vector bodies
But with gigantic heads
That must be due to their
Massive amounts of intelligence
(Yeah, right)

[desfeek]

lololololololololol

[vectrexmad]

This isn't a poem but I always loved the following example of creative writing which appeared in Fury's eBay advert for a limited edition of Royal 21 in 2010:

--From the journal of Robert Young--

January 1st, 1934

After spending most of New Year's Eve at Baxter's Pub,
our motley group ended up at the estate of Mr. Boston,
an American gent who had only recently settled in Berkshire.

Promises of a well-stocked bar (and some ramblings of
a strange curiosity) captured our interest.

After a few strong drinks, we gathered in his library where,
in the middle of the room, sat a strange item atop a pedestal.
An odd black box, finely crafted, with a small window at its centre.

Unearthly, brightly lit apparitions seemed to float through the box
window!
It appeared to be a portal to another world! Our terror and
fascination were both
interrupted by Mr. Boston's booming voice which filled the room...

"Gentlemen...drink heartily, and play Vectrex."

[VectorX]

Odd, but nice

[gamezone]

Got to get this published in book form. I would put it on my coffee table.

[VectorX]

^Sj would say that would be someone else that needs to be nominated as far as getting out more

Well, I just got Zantis and Sundance and added to them, since I didn't know Zantis was in regards to electricity, rather than webs like the original Spiders that it was loosely based on.

Zantis

I don’t know what a “Zantis” is
But I don’t need an excuse
To kill spiders

And if I don't kill them
Then their electric bill will

(And getting veeeeery politically incorrect here...)

Sundance

Where’s the “dance”
When you just blow up stuff?

Especially since
We must help our planet
Yet I destroy sun after sun
After sun after sun

Way to piss off the hippies
For my encore, I'll
Eat a meat lover's pizza
And club some seals

[gliptitude]

Wow I can't believe this thread is over a year old. I need to figure out a way to slow down time.

Darryl, I guess you got in on the last call for Zantis/Sundance, like I did. Sundance is pretty cool, more fun than I expected actually. ... Seems like a game that GIRLS might like also. So maybe I'll try to use it that way. ... Zantis seems to fall short in some ways, but still has some cool features. The way the spiders move in response to your ship movement is quite strange and unique, and gives me some ideas for how a particular boss battle might work (in my fantasy Vectrex game).

[binarystar]

hahaha...these are great

[VectorX]

^Thanks!

Jul 15, 2013 1:21:30 GMT -5 gliptitude said:

Wow I can't believe this thread is over a year old. I need to figure out a way to slow down time.

Quite a few people need to...

Jul 15, 2013 1:21:30 GMT -5 gliptitude said:

Darryl, I guess you got in on the last call for Zantis/Sundance, like I did.

Yep. It was close!

Jul 15, 2013 1:21:30 GMT -5 gliptitude said:

Sundance is pretty cool, more fun than I expected actually.

Has a bit of a steep learning curve from game #1 and 2, but it's worth it to hang in there and to try to figure it out though. Need to try out two players with the nephew...

Jul 15, 2013 1:21:30 GMT -5 gliptitude said:

Zantis seems to fall short in some ways, but still has some cool features.

The whole thing's really odd, considering it was very loosely based on a crappy arcade game.